My life didn’t go as planned but that was ok. I wasn’t a victim, I was a survivor.
Summer of 2014, I was in the middle of a turmoil in my life. My soul was exhausted from dealing with non stop threats and abuse from someone who left me in the air. I felt like I was having a skinny dip into the unknown. No work, no money and in the brink of losing the place I once called home. I have a 5 years old to take care and nowhere to live. Sometime in the end of Autumn and it was dark, cold and windy. I was sitting in the dark with the blinds open and staring at the full moon and thinking about what my life would be in the next few days, weeks or months. Suddenly, some kind of delicate light magically showered me while I tried to close my eyes. It made me cry and gave me goosebumps. I didn’t know what I felt that night. Somehow it told me that it was the answer to all of my miseries.
As I sat there in the dark, I cried my eyes out not because I was sad, scared or threatened but because of some unexplainable feelings lurking inside me. Something tells me to be gentle with myself and be kind to myself because everything will be okay and things will go smoothly. I was so hopeful, I prayed hard and meditate whenever I get a chance. One morning before Christmas I had the answer to my new beginning. As I read the letter that was sent to me, I was shaking, crying and my knees turned to jelly. I was on my knees thanking God, the Universe and all the Archangels for the wonderful news.
Buckle down and do whatever is required to create a life that you will be proud of.
Yes, from that day I had my good news I was determined to move forward and not look back. When I moved out of my once called home, I had to gave up so many things. I had to gave 80% of what I had because of space issues and because I want to start fresh. Thinking positive thoughts helped my life transformed in a positive way.
So, here’s how I managed to deal with my trials:
- I wrote a gratitude journal everyday thanking for what I have and what I have asked pretending it’s already there. I wrote at least 5 things I was grateful for during the day. When you’re lost and don’t know where life leads you trust me you still have so many things to be thankful for. Be thankful for the gift of life, the brand new day, the air that you breathe, the light or even to the person who lets you get on the bus first.
- I meditate while listening to guided meditation in YouTube. There are so many guided meditations out there that will help you clear your mind and sometimes it gives you the answer to what’s holding you up.
- I was always thankful for my health. Thankful that despite of what happened I wasn’t on anti-depressant. That I was in perfect health.
- I prayed a lot. Prayer is always my weapon in whatever challenge I have in my life. Whatever your religion, always pray!
- I always think of something positive about that person who caused chaos in my life and be grateful about it. Trust me it helps and it will make you let go of the anger inside you.
- I spent time with friends when I felt so alone and it helped a lot! If you don’t have close friends around try to join some groups in your community or a hobby club in your area.
What have I learned from that journey?
- I learned that there are friends who truly cared for me. I am so grateful for them for not leaving me during my darkest hour. For the love and support I can’t thank them enough. They helped me in so many ways imaginable.
- When I felt I was so lost, someone who truly cares helped me financially to get by while I was looking for a job and putting my life back on track. I was so lucky to have that person in my life for all the love that she poured towards me and my son. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I learned that somehow somewhere an Angel will be sent to rescue you when you’re down.
- As I accept my downfall, the Universe started to pour me blessings beyond what I asked. Every little things I asked for future are slowly appearing before my eyes.
- That even in my darkest hour, I learned to forgive in order to move forward. Letting go of any emotions was hard but once I learned to free my heart from anger, everything comes nicely.
- That being happy is not a matter of what you have, who you’re with or when you’re in a relationship. I learned that being happy starts within you. If you can’t be happy being alone, having someone is not the answer to find happiness.
- That everything in my life happened for a good reason, good or bad. That it made me a stronger person and it didn’t stopped me from chasing my goals.
- I learned that sometimes having a big breakthrough you have to go through a dark patch. Just believe and don’t give up and your breakthrough is there waiting for you.
- I had been asked so many times for advice but I asked them why me when I myself went through rough patch in my life. They always have one answer, that despite of what I’ve been through I stand tall and faced life in a positive way. I learned that experience makes you a better version of yourself.
Looking back, I am thankful why it happened. It saved me and my son in so many levels of life. It gave me a big breakthrough and it leads me to a happier place. So don’t underestimate yourself. Whatever challenge you have right now, it prepares you to the next level. Whatever circumstances you’re facing right now, remember that it doesn’t define you. Be kind and be gentle to yourself.
Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life ~J.K. Rowling~
16 thoughts on “How to Pick Up the Pieces when Life Falls Apart.”
I love what you say “I wasn’t a victim, I was a survivor” that is definitely the mindset we need to have when life falls apart. I feel the same way as you do – being grateful for what we have and reminding ourselves is so very important because it helps us to not lose them. Happiness can only come from within and when we allow external things to make us happy we will never find true fulfillment. Your mindset and thoughts really encourage me. I look forward to reading more!
Thank you Jon. I am happy to share my experience to help others to get back up and face the world again. It wasn’t easy but once you think more of the negative rather than the positive that happened you can’t move forward. I was motivated to write this blog because I know I have inspired others for being so strong and positive. I would surely be writing more! 🙂
Without trials and obstacles , life has no meaning. But sometimes, pain and sorrow cripples our will to survive.
What you said here is absolutely correct, “never underestimate yourself.” And of course the most powerful tools when we face upheavel and chaos , ” mediatation & prayer”!
I love your story Glexie, keep going.👍💞👌😃
Thank you for taking time to read part of my life Juliet. Glad you love it! 🙂 Take care…
Its good to hear how you made the bad good and may you continue to be showered with blessings. Having good friends to pull you out of the dark really does help. I remember the times when just a call to see if I’ve eaten had a huge affect on how the night went for me. Keep writing 🙂
Thank you Riyas. Yes friends who helped and checked on you if you’re ok really makes a huge difference. And also when someone’s there to listen takes a huge weight upon your shoulder. Thanks for motivating me to write more. Sure will do!
Your story is very inspiring, and gives me hope too! I have just recently started to write 3 things that I’m grateful for everyday and I love it! It forces me to be grateful about the littlest things.
I like your blog, I’ll popping by often 🙂
Hi Cony, thanks for reading. Glad that it inspired you. Keep writing about what you’re grateful for and even the things that you want to be grateful for in the coming days. You will be surprised after a few months or even a year when you read your journal it’s quite powerful. It gives us more reason to be thankful everyday. When you constantly doing it, it becomes a habit. Thank you! 🙂
It’s very hard to keep a good attitude in hard times. A friend of mine was in deep depression. Walks, concerts, spending time together, didn’t work. We decided to buy him a puppy. New buddy gave him a reason to live, go outside, someone to take care off. After few months, everything is normal as it was several years ago. Sometimes it’s good to make a risky move to make a difference. If you don’t try you will fall deeper and deeper.
I am glad you are ok right now. Keep strong!
Thank you for your dropping by Simon. People have different ways to get back up again when life falls apart. Depression is another level and I’m glad I didn’t went into that road. Meditation helped me a lot. Yes I am more than ok right now and more happier. Good to hear that your friend is ok now. Me, I think because I also have a son with me to take care of that’s why he gave me a reason to look on the brighter side of life. Good for you that you did a big part for your friend’s recovery. :-
Great article on how you kept your life together, most of us would say our lives have not ended up the way we planned. That does not always have to be a negative thing, always be positive and things will always look better.
Love your suggestions what works for you
Hi there, Thanks for dropping by and sorry for the late reply. So busy with the summer holidays with my little man. Yes whatever trials we have in life, always be positive and they are there to teach us lessons to be more resilient. It’s not an easy thing to do to pick up the pieces but trust that something is better coming your way.
I also do set aside time everyday to write what I am grateful for in my life. I also write what I did well that day and praise myself for it. But even if I set aside time to do these, throughout the day I try to do this as much as possible. I also try to find fun and humor throughout the day especially when things get a bit “rough.” I also try to be in the present moment and whenever I start having some negative thoughts or emotion rise up, I become alert and simply watch it and recognize for what it is and not personalize it. By doing this so, I can be in the present moment and slowly and gradually the negative feeling disappears.
Having the right habit of using our mind is very powerful.
Hi Joon! Yes being in the present moment is so good. Be present in the now. Mindfulness can boost our awareness and being grateful everyday for everything really helped me and made me realize I am still so lucky. Forgiveness is also the key to move on and from letting go of any anger. It’s not an easy thing to do for some but once you start, it just flow nicely. Thanks Joon!
Hey Glexie, I read this article with a lot of admiration for strong woman, one that I think I am gradually becoming in my mid 30’s right now.
My turmoil is more on my career right now. I am an exhausted and tired soul with no shoulder to lean on. I am in the process of starting my own business, but after all the energy my day job suck out of me, I don’t have much left to work on my business at night.
It’s a very steep learning curve, but I am not giving up just yet.
Hi Cathy thanks for dropping by and thanks for the admiration. We all have some trials at some point in our lives. So sorry that you are going through that right now. I think what you can do right now is take it one step at a time. Reflect on your current circumstances (that is starting a new business). How do you feel when you think about that? What would you like to see happening? What is it that’s so important to you in starting a new business? What new habits do you need to do in order to achieve your goals?
Feel free to discuss about this, maybe I can help. xx