I started to write this a few months ago but glad that I didn’t finished it at that time because I’ve learned more in life. Experience is the biggest teacher of all life’s lessons. In this journey called life, we always have lessons to learn and people to teach us lessons along the way. Sometimes painful things teaches us lessons that we think we don’t need to know. Below are the things that I learned in walking my path in life.
1. STOP Trying to Please Everyone.
I used to try to please everyone because I thought that if I do then they will care for me and love me. The biggest disappointment you can give to yourself is to please everyone and expect something in return. No, don’t do that! It is a vicious cycle! We need time to recharge our batteries and be sane again from the chaos around us. Learn to say no to people who suck the energy out of you.
2. STOP Comparing Yourself to Anyone.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer said “My goal is not to be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be”. You cannot compare your chapter 5 to someone else’s chapter 7. Even if you are on the same chapter but your stories are different. Learn from your mistakes and pursue the greater things in life! Enjoy life at the moment. Comparing yourself to others is like destroying your self-esteem.
We sometimes want what others have and sometimes think why their lives are so perfect! Perfection doesn’t exist, it’s an obsession! I think being inspired by others is more wise than comparing yourself to them.
3. Learn to Age Gracefully.
The beauty industry persuades us that women are not beautiful, smart or slim enough. Most women spend most of their time how to look good and how to look perfect. Why can’t we just appreciate what we are and embrace our flaws.
Once we learn to appreciate our flaws and our appearance in whatever age we are, we learn to feel more happier than stressing about how we look. People will accept you for what you are not for how perfect you look because you are enough. I am enough.
4. You Attract what you are and not what you want.
I have learned that you attract what you are and not what you want. I used to have people around me who are wrong for me, I was attracting them because I was also the wrong person. Focus on becoming the person that you dream and you will also attract the people in the same frequency. Respect yourself enough so that the people around you also have the reason to respect you. Everything begins with you. Don’t focus on having toxic thoughts because you will attract them in your life. You cannot change the people around you, change yourself and you will attract the right people.
5. YOUR BELIEFS SHAPes your reality.
We all have beliefs, whether it’s limiting beliefs or negative beliefs. Our beliefs shapes our reality through our behavior, through other people’s behavior and it can also impact our health. When we believe that we’re not good enough, chances are people also think that you’re not good enough. When we believe that there are bad people around, guess what you will also encounter them all the time. Feed your mind with good things and good things will come into your life.
6. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Trust the process of life. Whatever happens to you good or bad, it happens for a reason. I have so many experiences in my life where I thought I’m a failure especially in my previous relationships but I realized that they all happened because it shapes me to a better version of me. I learned a lot from my experiences and although some are painful it also lead me to a much better life. So, once you believe it everything comes easier.
7. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU AND THAT IS OK.
Lately I realized that you can’t really make people to like you. There are so many reasons behind this, maybe you’re not the kind of person in their standards, maybe you intimidate others with your personality, maybe you’re too kind, maybe you’re too quite, maybe you’re not their idea of a decent human being or maybe because you stand up for yourself when others wronged you. I had an experience lately where something blew out of proportion just because I stand up for myself, people didn’t like that and they judged me for not the kind of person in their level of understanding but that’s ok because that’s part of life and part of our human experiences. People even blocked me on Facebook just because I posted something that offends them even if it’s not for them. At the end of the day, for me it’s not me who have issues.
8. BE GRATEFUL
I cannot stress enough how much I want to tell you about being grateful. There are so many things that you can be grateful for everyday, even when you’re in a difficult situation stop and think about the things that you’re grateful for like your breath. Always be grateful for everything and you will realize that the more you do that there are also more reasons to be grateful for.
9. LOVE YOURSELF
Be gentle and be kind to yourself because at the end of the day it’s you that you have to spend the rest of your life with. Love yourself not in an egotistical way but rather in a healthy inner love. It’s simply about self respect knowing that you’re worthy and believing in yourself. Take charge of yourself and your own inner strength. Believe on who you are and you have so much to offer.
10. Learn how to forgive yourself.
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, sometimes we hurt the people we love without knowing it. Sometimes we say stupid things that offend or hurt others and when they get upset or offended we take it seriously and blame ourselves for saying stupid stuff or for not doing the right thing. We tend to beat ourselves up for our actions because it hurts us too! We are humans and we are bound to make mistakes, we are flawed and we are not meant to be perfect. So, learn to forgive yourself for not reaching to other people’s expectations.